Chapter 12 - feb 2010 - phenix city (trip 2)

©2011 Tom Weathers

I left Saturday morning. There was snow on the streets. I had to detour around a wreck in Mt. Holly and sit in stop and go traffic on I-85 through Gastonia while people slowly made their way on the slippery pavement. At that point, if possible, I would have turned around and returned home. The trip did not seem to be worth the effort.

My first stop was in Phenix City to see cousins Joe and Mary, and their spouses Brenda and JD. Mary and JD drove up from Mobile. I had not seen any of them in over 12 years.

Family History Aside

Grandparents BK and Molly Parris moved back and forth between Phenix City, Shelby and Asheville. I am not sure where my mother, aunt and uncles were born, but it was in or near one of those places. Aunt Margaret, Joe and Mary's mother, stayed in Phenix City, marrying there. Uncle Bob moved back to Phenix City in 1956 after my mother died. It might be useful to know that according to my mother the Parrises fought on both sides of the civil war and one of our maternal ancestors was a Cherokee. There was family glory. But it wasn't straightforward.

Snapshots and commentary

Aunt Margaret's old house. She's been dead since 1998. Uncle Bob lived in a trailer out back and had a meal with her every day. At least twice my sister Mickey came here looking for something. In the late 1950's a few years after our mother died Mickey (who was maybe 13) rode by herself on buses to visit Aunt Margaret in Phenix Cirty and Uncle Ken and Aunt Virginia in Danville Virginia. In the early 1960's she ran away from Women's College in Greensboro for unspecified reasons and went to Phenix City. Upon receiving a call from Aunt Margaret, my father and I drove from Shelby to Phenix City. Sitting on lawn chairs out back behind the house we talked more than we ever had; we actually became friends. But she never did tell me why she ran away from Women's College.

Cousin Joe's house. My GPS got me to the neighborhood. I called and he waited for me in the driveway.

Cousin Joe - the old wrestler. As a young man he resembled Paul Neuman and drove like a mad man. He knows everybody in Phenix City and half the people in Alabama. I suspect he sees into us all.

Cousin Mary Like her mother, joyfully immersed in the drama of her life and family.

Brenda - Joe's wife. Her role is to take care of everybody. An even better driver than Joe I would rather ride with her than anybody. She keeps a very neat house.

JD - Mary's husband. He did two tours in Nam. He tells fine stories and bad jokes.

Joe at Uncle Bob's grave. Bob was more like an older brother than an uncle. He taught me about guns, showing me how to shoot all the rifles, shotguns and pistols in his extensive arsenal. I don't shoot anymore but I remember his lessons. (Once I was struck in the thumb by a sliver of lead from a defective Harrington and Richardson .22 revolver. Bob begged me not to tell my mother of whom he was afraid.) My father suggested that Bob was a fool. I suppose in some ways he was - certainly he was not comfortable in his own skin. I thought that I would grow up to be like him.

It was a day devoted to cemeteries. We walked to Cousin Buster's grave.


Buster's grave. He was a smart gentle man with a well-developed sense of irony. When we were children he pointed out uncomfortable truths (for example that my father, his Uncle Tom, was funny but flawed).

Aunt Margaret's grave. She hid her ironic insights behind a sweet smile. Buster might have gotten his irony from her. I got my sense of irony from the Parris side of the family. Sarcasm came from the Weathers.